Well, undoubtedly you'd get something better than "I, Robot." Because this movie stinks on ice.
Ok, there's a program called "Ractor" that was designed many years ago, and it was supposed to imitate a person's writing style. It worked by looking at a bunch of your writings and keeping track of simple patterns: it would then start with a random word (from your writings) and start picking other words from your writings, but with the same probability that you would use them. So you'd end up with something that sounded eerily like you, because it had your vocabulary, but the words would be put together in nonsense order.
Thus it is with "I, Robot"; the writers thought they could make an entire movie with ideas randomly stolen from other movies, like the bad guy in "Silence of the Lambs" who wants to make a suit from female skin so he can become a woman. And with as much success.
It's sad, because in this movie there's the grains of some really fascinating questions — what is the nature of the soul, can an artificial entity have one, and how does being perfectly logical conflict with being human?
But instead of taking these concepts and making something interesting, the stuido decided to make a Will Smith movie. Now, I liked Will Smith in "Six Degrees of Separation." He's a good actor. I even liked him in "ID4." He kicked ass and took names in a stupid movie.
Unfortunately, ever since "ID4," Hollywood has been producing "Will Smith movies" made-to-order for him: chock-full of witty sayings and him slouching and punching and dressing fly. Even he seems tired of it. His one-liners in this movie are about as played-out as Arnold's from the governor's mansion ("I vill tierminade da deficit!"), and the first hour of the movie could have been written by any 10-year-old. Might have, even.
Seriously, here's a movie that features such time-honored clichés as:
a) The bald, overweight chief of police who rides Will's ass and tells him he's crazy. "You're crazy! I'm taking your badge! Go see a shrink! Give me a cigar! Feed me that scenery! CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP!"
b) The young jive-talking whitebread wannabe guy who appears for four seconds at the beginning of the movie FOR NO REASON, and then appears for another four during the climax for the sole purpose of being rescued. I'm like, "Who the heck is this kid and why is he... Oh! He's gone."
c) The motorcycle ride of DOOM! Hey guys, I liked it better in "Matrix 2," when it was cool and had a point. Seriously, blink and you miss the motorcycle.
d) That evil corporate chief guy ripped straight from that movie about the computer company that's all evil and the good hackers that infiltrate it. You know the one? No? How about ALL EIGHT ZILLION OF THEM?
e) Will Smith saying, "Aw hell no." Man, that never gets old.
f) The girl who looks just like Sandra Bullock in "Demolition Man" playing the same ambiguously asexual love-interest as she did in "Demolition Man."
g) The cat in jeapordy! Oh, no! Who will save it! Will our hero save it? OH THANK GOD, HE DID.
h) The kindly old grandmama who bakes pies for our gruff detective. But, OH NO, she won the lottery and got one of the bad robots! WHAT AN INCREDIBLE STROKE OF LUCK, THAT WILL'S GRANDMA HAPPENED TO WIN THE LOTTERY AND THE PRIZE HAPPENED TO BE A ROBOT! OH, THE IRONY! Seriously, people, didn't ANYONE at the studio read this?
i) The lovable anthropomorphic robot from "A.I.", except with the voice of the HAL in "2001," using almost the same words as in 2001: "Will it hurt?"
k) The scene where our hero takes a STRANGELY FAMILIAR drawing that was given to him and then reviews a video clip we'd seen earlier in the movie that looks like the drawing, and then freeze-frames, then ZOOMs in, then HOLDS THE DRAWING UP TO THE SCREEN. Oh! I GET IT! Because the DRAWING is LIKE the VIDEO! The one we saw 10 minutes ago! In this movie! I'd forgotten! Good thing they spelled it out for me!
Seriously, has anyone in real life ever held a drawing up to a screen? It happens so much in the movies, you'd think it was really commonplace. "Hey Bob, come over here and check this out... this Mazda website has the same car I have here in my Mazda brochure! Look, if I hold them up side-by-side, you can see it's the same! No doubt about it, they're both Mazdas! Case closed!"
l) Hey, our hero in 2034 wears old-school Converse high tops, from exactly the year 2004. What are the chances? I mean, they're not the 2006 version, nor that crappy 2002 version. No, they're EXACTLY the shoe that was on the market when the movie was released. THAT IS SOME EERIE SHIT! I wonder if, in the future, all restaurants are Taco Bell?
In summary: I love science fiction. I like Will Smith. I like Isaac Asimov. I like cats. I like movies. I like robots. I even like cops. Yet, strangely, I did NOT like Will Smith as a cat-saving cop in a science fiction movie about robots, inspired by a book by Isaac Asimov.
"It puts the clichés in its movie or it gets the hose again."