December 14, 2005

5P3LL1NG B33? [category: drivel]

Custom license plates carry with them the stigma of pretentiousness, which I think is unfairly earned for a couple of reasons. First, in Washington state at least, the $75 custom plate fee goes to wildlife conservation, so if someone blaaaarts by you in a Civic with a 6" pipe and a whale-fin straight off a '93 Supra and his plate proclaims him "2FAST", at least you can think, "Well, that's another bird saved AND another bird earned," as you flip him off.

Second, I don't understand why attaching mall-bought plate frames or mass-made bumper stickers with trite slogans on them to your car is considered OK, but if you attempt to express your own individuality by picking a message for yourself, it's considered an act of hubris. You'd rather be sailing? Damn. That's deep, man.

Thus it is that I recently purchased my first custom license plate, of which I was inordinately proud.

Was, that is, until I went to the Child's Play charity dinner last night, at which I attempted and ultimately failed to buy my way to fame, losing by $4,000 to the gentleman stockbroker who happened sitting next to me, and who had happened to have been hit by a diesel truck when he was 13 and spent 5 years under the knife at Children's. The man had a karmic debt to pay, he said, and far be it from me to stand in his way. Also, $20K is a lot of cabbage. At least we were able to give Gabe a five-foot cardboard tube filled with Pocky, and Tycho a two-foot Pepperidge Farms sausage of DOOM, as a way of thanking them for doing some much good.

So, at the end of the evening, dejected and sad from my failed bid at immortality, my possé made its way to the parking lot under Meydenbauer center, where Mary spotted a car with the same license plate as mine, except with an alternate spelling! Imagine my chagrin! I couldn't have been more embarrassed if we'd been wearing the same dress. Clearly, a gamer at the auction was a man with a mien like mine.

I leave it to you, gentle readers, to decide which spelling you prefer.



Blogger Steve Streza said...

I'm more of a fan of saying to someone "sudo chowned!", but that's me. ^_^

December 14, 2005 6:07 PM

Anonymous Bryce Kerley said...

His spelling doesn't have the retarded E -> 3 thing, but your car is way cooler.

December 14, 2005 6:27 PM

Anonymous Chad said...

I'll go for the PWNED spelling...but I like the red car better. It's shiny...oooo....

December 14, 2005 6:32 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

the first car kicks ass, although the second one's spelling is better

December 14, 2005 6:43 PM

Anonymous Arden said...

It sounds like, as far as license plates go, you both got "pwn[e|3]d." As far as cars go, though, your Lotus definitely pwns the hell out of his Camaro.

It still doesn't beat my hat, though.

December 14, 2005 6:50 PM

Anonymous boaz said...

I think the 3 is better based on the theory that, if you're going to mispell something, mi5p3ll it a lot. Otherwise, people might think it's an accident.

December 14, 2005 7:18 PM

Anonymous Bryce Kerley said...

Actually, as an addendum to what I said, if you had PWN'D that'd probably be the best.

December 14, 2005 8:26 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I honestly wouldn't have guessed that you were one of the generous people in that contest, but it's not all that surprising.

December 14, 2005 8:34 PM

Anonymous Seth Willits said...

And his dead fish isn't even centered... sheesh.....

December 14, 2005 8:45 PM

Blogger Dougie said...


December 14, 2005 8:50 PM

Blogger Abhi Beckert said...

Hmm, God needs to use a better random number generator, it's clearly not good enough!

December 14, 2005 9:59 PM

Blogger Ripsy said...

I'm a fan of the pwn3d. If you're going 1337. Go all out

December 14, 2005 10:34 PM

Anonymous Mark Grimes said...

If you're gonna use leetspeak, you might as well follow-thru. PWN3D.

December 14, 2005 10:39 PM

Blogger tmhawk said...

Your plate is better. Also that's great of you to support such an awesome cause!

December 14, 2005 10:55 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

just admit this post was just an excuse to point out you own a nice car and have $15,000 to spare...

December 15, 2005 1:21 AM

Anonymous Leden said...

at least you can think, "Well, that's another bird saved AND another bird earned," as you flip him off.


What does Mike have on his Audi?

December 15, 2005 1:37 AM

Blogger Wil Shipley said...

just admit this post was just an excuse to point out you own a nice car and have $15,000 to spare..

I admit it.

Although, really, I've mentioned before (in my student talk and downloadable slides) that I have a Lotus, which isn't a very expensive car (less than an Audi TT quattro, for instance).

And the charity money comes from the associates revenue we make from, which we promised to dedicate to charity in a very public press release.

December 15, 2005 1:54 AM

Anonymous Jeff Atwood said...

I knew if I kept referencing the totally hot car, you'd post more pictures. I KNEW it.

Color me satisfi3d!

December 15, 2005 3:16 AM

Anonymous Arden said...

"What does Mike have on his Audi?"

Oh come on, you just know Mike Matas's Audi is going to be stock with a standard, state-generated plate. :D

December 15, 2005 3:21 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

3D porn, mmmmmmmmm!

December 15, 2005 4:18 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I prefer `pwnt`. But Lotus for teh win any day of the week!

December 15, 2005 12:52 PM

Anonymous SteveR said...

I know you drive a 'pimp ride', but I HOPE your idea of a p-ride is a Lotus, not a camaro.

December 15, 2005 5:45 PM

Blogger cjwl said...

I feel like I should move to Washington state and lobby for making vanity plates free and state generated ones require a charitable donation.

December 16, 2005 11:49 AM

Anonymous Jebedee III said...

PWN3D all the way!

Btw, who did the awesome flash animation that's at the head of the Delicious Website? Is it magic mike's magic touch?

December 17, 2005 3:20 PM

Anonymous Devon Shaw said...

PWN3D is the correct spelling, only n00bs would be half ass and throw in the P without the 3. What's the point without proper execution?!

December 18, 2005 10:34 AM

Blogger Andrew Hamann said...

PWN3D definitely. Not to mention your car kicks his car's ass.

December 20, 2005 9:56 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Obviously, in in 1337 speak PWN3D = Owned.
In my opinion PWNED = Pawned.

December 31, 2005 11:35 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You two aren't the only ones. Click here for a crappy old camphone picture of my NSX's Washington plate.

January 12, 2006 4:31 PM

Anonymous said...

the first one is optimal. Not only it is such a lame saying spelled gam3r style, but witnessed on such a car. oh such a car. whilst the gamEr. tagging his trash properly. doubtfully sparks a chuckle from any passerbys.

June 16, 2006 4:50 PM


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