I wouldn't normally see an article on a law technology site like this, but it's getting linked from some of the Mac meta sites I frequent, and this is how idiotic memes get started.
So, since the date on the article is tomorrow (he wrote it FROM THE FUTURE!) and that's my birthday, I considered this an early birthday present and decided a good old-fashioned flaming was in order. Ah, it's been too long. Shall we?
I was suckered in by the hype about freedom from viruses, simplicity of computing and versatility. Instead, I bought a boat anchor that can't view Web sites properly, is not compatible with Microsoft Word and can run only dumbed-down versions of regular software."Suckered" and "hype" aren't supported here: you don't address the issues of "freedom from viruses," "simplicity," and "versatility." You never state whether you found the "hype" to be true? It doesn't matter if these three claims are true or false (they're true) -- it's mislead to say you were "suckered in by the hype" and then let the reader assume the hype was wrong, when, you don't feel that way. It's like me saying, "I was suckered in by the hype about 'food' being 'necessary for survival,' but instead I got fat when I ate too much of it."
And you say "instead" of getting something virus-free you got something dumb, but what you mean is "in addition" (and even that is a false statement). There's a big difference between "instead" and "in addition." You should know this, Mr. Law Professional: "Instead of giving my client a horse for $2,000, the defendant gave my client the finger" vs. "In addition to giving my client a horse for $2,000, the defendant gave my client the finger." Big difference.
And you really can't run Word? Because I'm running it right now. La la la, look at me typing in it. In fact, I'm pretty sure you yourself can and did run Word, because you talk about your problems with Word in a couple paragraphs.
Viewing web sites "properly" would need to be defined; Safari and its free brethren are certainly more compliant with the majority of web standards than Internet Explorer; I haven't had an incompatibility problem in years. You would need to provide at least a partial list of websites you found troublesome in order to prove this claim. You provide none, only one false claim about it.
"Dumbed-down versions" is subjective and requires you to prove it in future paragraphs, which you fail to do.
This time, I'm buying from Hewlett-Packard Co. or Dell Inc. -- anything that runs on Windows. (I'll assume the risk of flaming batteries.) Goodbye Steve Jobs, hello Bill Gates. I'll be lucky to get half of the $4,552.71 I paid for the Mac on May 21, 2006.Yah, I'm sure it's a huge surprise to you that computer hardware depreciates, since you're on the board of a technology advising firm. I'm also betting the whole "Apple switching all their machines to Intel machines" caught you totally off-guard, since Steve announced in August of 2005 that he would have all the machines switched by August of 2006. There was NO WAY you could have called that, since it's, like, your job to advise people on technology.
Also, Apple had to recall many of their batteries as well, as Sony provided batteries to both Dell and Apple. Engadget.com. You should look into it.
I realized it was time to unload the silvery box of frustration when I had to buy a "Dummies" book on how to operate it. I'm smart; I shouldn't need this. Aren't Macs supposed to be intuitive and easy to learn? My mistake.What, exactly, were the problems you had? You don't say. I'm not clear on why buying a book was so maddening to you. It added, what, like $10 to your $4.5K purchase? You're upset because you didn't sit down with an incredibly complicated piece of consumer electronics and understand all of it instantly? I mean, yes, the Mac is easier to use, but there's still a lot of functionality there, and it's very different from Windows. Sit down with a friend or a third-grader you know for an afternoon and figure this stuff out, technology advisor.
With a former PC, I had to have my hard drive wiped clean and formatted -- several times -- after catching nasty viruses. So I was enticed by the thought of being online without fear of viruses. I dreamed of going fearlessly to all the sheet music and game sites that are rife with Trojans, spyware and other dangerous bugs....and you again imply this thought was false, but never say state that clearly, because you know it's true.
I was encouraged to make the switch by artists, ad agency employees and junior high school kids, even though I don't really create graphics, listen to iTunes or make movies. They all used Macs and were intractable in their support. They seduced me with siren songs, especially good customer support -- which did turn out to be excellent and was staffed with American speakers working in the United States. I liked the sexy FireWire with its zippy transfer speeds, although I used it only to transfer data to my external hard drive."Friends, colleagues, schoolchildren, kittens, mice, even a leftover piece of steak in my fridge: they all encouraged me to switch..." You're finally asserting an actual fact, and it's that Apple's support is great and you're hot for FireWire?
The signs of doom were there on day one, but I ignored them. I pretended that I liked the one button mouse. I quickly started using click + command keys (and other keyboard shortcuts). I really missed the little scrolling wheel in the center of the mouse. I put up with the fact that the HP printer, which I had purchased on the recommendation of an Apple Store, would work about 50 percent of the time with the Mac. I was constantly deleting print jobs and starting them over.Dude, if you bought a PowerMac G5 in June of 2006 it should have come with the four-button Mighty Mouse (with a two-axis scroll-ball in the middle), which has been shipping PowerMacs since October, 2005. If not, you know, spend the $12 to buy ANY USB MOUSE ON THE MARKET instead of replacing your whole computer. And I can't help but think you should have simply had the printer serviced or replaced by Apple's excellent support staff instead of starting over with a Dell. I think it would have been easier.
I noticed it was slow; I saw that stupid spinning colored wheel a lot. The Mac would hang up; the TV ads said Macs didn't do that. The widgets were cool and snappy, but after a while I stopped using them. They were fun -- for five minutes. I did like the Finder because it was quick in locating files, but it would turn up a lot of false hits. It was comparable to the Google Desktop searcher on my PC.Ok, you found the Mac slow because sometimes you saw the spinning cursor. I will give you this point. It's the first actual point you've made that you could possibly consider "evidence," halfway through your article.
What drove me nuts was that I would open Word for Mac and couldn't delete files while I was in Word. There is no File | Delete option. So the documents took up space on my hard drive, until someone told me I had to find the document in Finder and then move it into the trash from there. This seemed stupid to me; I just wanted to highlight a file and tap "delete."You believe the Mac version of Word should have a delete option. Ok, this isn't the "Mac way" but I'll give you this point, too. Two so far.
Word files transferred from the Mac were missing pictures. PowerPoint files transferred from the Mac would lose their formatting. PCs and Macs are not compatible, regardless of what they say.Some types of pictures don't translate over from Mac to PC versions of Word. Sounds like a problem with your PC version of Word, really, but I'll semi-give you the point, because there is a big button on the Word save sheet labeled "Compatibility Report..." which was put there just to tell you when you've used incompatible features in the Mac version of Word. I can see how that'd be confusing and stuff. Maybe "Compatibility Report..." isn't part of the dummies' curriculum.
The multiple clicking to accomplish simple tasks was a constant annoyance. Things I could do with a PC in two keystrokes took four or five clicks with the Mac. To do a "fast print" required clicking File, Print, find Copies & Pages, click Paper Type/Quality, click Normal and finally clicking Fast Draft. And there was no way to leave the setting as the default. I had to do it manually every time.Ok, you've listed THREE complaints in a row now with Mac Word, not the Mac. Now, I appreciate that, as a lawyer, you feel it's your duty to spend all your time in Word, but, seriously, have you thought about flaming Microsoft for this? They wrote it, Apple didn't. These are hardly problems endemic to the Mac.
Doing a simple screen capture was an immense chore. On a PC you just press Alt and tap PrtScr. With the Mac I had to download and launch special programs to accomplish this simple task.Yah, it's an immense chore to hit command-shift-4. Ow, my pinky!
I didn't even bother with the Mac's iCal or Mail, which required me to buy an @mac.com address.No, no they don't. Both can integrate with .Mac but don't require it; all their functionality is available without .Mac, you just have to arrange the server stuff yourself, just as you do with Windows.
Instead, I went straight to Outlook for Mac.You went straight to the MICROSOFT alternative, without even trying Apple's really nice Mail client, and decided you didn't like it. Darn, it's like Microsoft isn't really trying to make a good mail client for their competition, isn't it?
You did not even launch two of the best programs that ship free with the Mac, and then you have the temerity to write an article about how much the Mac sucks? Seriously?
A lot of the software for Mac -- such as AOL for Mac OS X -- was dumbed down and missing may features of the current PC versions.AOL was dumbed-down? How would that work, exactly? I mean, this is like saying you got a dumbed-down version of a George Bush speech. It's strange that you would pay for AOL on the Mac but not .Mac. It seems like, at this point, you're just intentionally avoiding anything with the Apple label, but then blaming Apple for the quality of all these products.
For me the killer was the Web browser. Safari simply cannot read Flash. It is, quite simply, a second-rate browser.It simply can and does read Flash, and you are, quite simply, a big stupid.
I even called Apple headquarters and asked when a better version would be available and was told that Apple is in no hurry to improve it.Yes, I am positive that Apple said, "What? Safari? Yaaaawn... you're using that? Heh... we're not really working on that much these days."
Oh, no, wait, Safari has had like eight releases since Internet Explorer was last revved.
On the suggestions of friends, I downloaded Netscape and Firefox, which were no better."No better?" That's it, huh? Well, I'm convinced! Although I should mention my friends on the Firefox team have told me they are working to upgrade their next version to "kinda better," with the eventual goal of being "somewhat better."
I scraped along with Internet Explorer 5.0 for Mac, and then discovered in 2006 that Microsoft would no longer support the Mac version. You can't do WSYWIG on Typepad (where many folks create their blogs), which you can on a PC.Yes, you must have been pretty shocked about this, since it was announced in 2003, and IE has three percent of the market on the Mac. Damn! Those companies keep pulling fast ones on you by announcing stuff years ahead of time and expecting you to, you know, make intelligent decisions.
I do sympathize, though, because I learned in 2003 that Apple was no longer going to manufacture the Apple //e! Well, they'd stopped years ago, but I just learned it then, because I'm a technology advisor who lives in a cave, surrounded by books written for idiots. (Oh, sure, I'd tried the Mac, but it was "no better.")
I run several Web sites, all optimized for IE 5.5 or higher. I couldn't operate my own Web sites with the Mac. That was the straw that broke the camel's back.Yes, if you insist on running a ten-year-old browser on your Mac instead of any of the five or so alternatives, some web sites may not work. In other news, if you spread rotten shit on a hot dog, it doesn't taste as good.
The phrase "couldn't" here is completely a lie; you "could" operate your websites, you just chose to use a ten-year-old browser instead of Safari, Camino, Firefox, Bumpercar, OmniWeb, or any of the zillion other ones available.
Also, the phrase "the straw that broke the camel's back" means you are finished with something (e.g., his back is broken, you can't ride on), but you said earlier that "the killer" was Safari's (in?)ability to read Flash, so your camel is already dead. Also, apparently your camel is still hobbling, because you go on...
Then the hard drive croaked on me after only three months of owning the machine. I couldn't tell what was going wrong and had to hire someone for $125 an hour to come over and tell me what the heck was happening. Apple replaced it for free, but I became leery of what other hardware would fail unexpectedly.Hard drive failure! That would NEVER happen if you had a Dell!
Apple uses the same hard drives as basically everyone else on the market. Sometimes they fail. They are moving parts. In this case, Apple replaced it for free. I don't see the problem, except you are apparently a huge whiner.
The supportable points of your argument, in total, boil down to this:
- Apple's marketing department and fans lured me in with promises of Macs being virus-free and having great service, both of which turned out to be true.
- FireWire is sexy.
- Sometimes I see the spinny cursor on my Mac.
- Microsoft Word doesn't please me on the Mac because the key shortcuts aren't short enough, and because I can't find the compatibility button on the save panel. Also, PowerPoint.
- Microsoft Outlook doesn't please me on the Mac, and I never tried the free alternatives that were bundled with the system.
- AOL(!) doesn't please me on the Mac.
- Microsoft Internet Explorer 5 from 1997 does not please me on the Mac, and I mistakenly believe Safari doesn't support Flash, nor will I use any of the many free alternatives that would work fine.
- One time, my hard drive broke and was replaced for free.
In summary: you are fundamentally only interested in using Microsoft products, and you find that your experience on a Mac using nothing written by Apple and everything by Microsoft is sub-par. Wow! I am SHOCKED! This is as amazing as when I heard that people who love open-source software sometimes prefer Linux to Mac OS X!
I let the repaired shiny Mac sit on the floor for weeks, and instead used my reliable IBM ThinkPad, and rediscovered how much I enjoy it. Wish me luck on selling the Mac.Good luck! And good riddance! I'd buy it myself but I'm afraid you might have smeared some stupid on it!
Labels: mac community