September 27, 2007

Go, NBC! You're SMURT!

I own the entire first season of Heroes -- bought it on iTunes. Same with Battlestar Galactica seasons 1 and 2, and The Office.

Of course, I don't own Heroes season 2, because Mac users aren't allowed to download NBC's shows this season, and I don't have cable. I'm allergic to ads anyways. I've reached a point in my life where my time is just more valuable than that.

I'm a honest man, so I certainly didn't download Xtorrent and do a search for "Heroes S02E01", and 20 hours later, watch the HD version of the show, for free, with no commercials, on my Mac. I could have, sure. And the show would have rocked, and I would have saved $2, and NBC would have lost that money for no good reason.

You've got to grudgingly admire NBC's giant steel balls for thinking they can do the whole online thing alone, even though everyone else but iTunes has failed miserably up to now, and NBC's model is essentially just crappy broadcast TV, except over the net, which is, like, kind of pointless. Uh, guys, it turns out we consumers don't actually have a preference which WIRE our shows come from. Seriously, why wouldn't we just TiVo the show if that's what we wanted?

I mean, you've got to think, "Wow, those NBC execs really are independent thinkers! Stupid, sure, but independent! They aren't Steve Jobs' toadies! No sir! Look at the way they saw away at their noses! Their faces sure won't ever mess with them again!"

It's amazing how 100% of the companies that make their living distributing other people's content are run by absolute morons. Like, they fulfill no meaningful purpose in society -- these are the guys from the Hitchhiker's Guide that got sent in the first ship. I mean, you literally could put an African Grey parrot in charge of NBC and it'd make better decisions. (For one, there'd be a lot more shows about pirates, which would be awesome.) I defy anyone to think of a good decision that a record or TV or movie company has made recently. Let's sue teenagers! Let's make it impossible to enjoy our content over the web! Let's fund the seventeenth sequel to a crappy movie that barely made money! Let's have a fall season full of the same shit we've made a hundred times! Let's fire our writers and go entirely with reality shows that aren't real! Let's give outrageous amounts of money to washed-up artists and ignore the new talent that's actually selling records now! Let's cancel shows that are at all interesting and have a smart audience, because only stupid people watch TV now! Let's sue sue sue instead of create create create!

Maybe Amazon will start selling Heroes for $1 an episode, and non-copy-protected? Apparently Universal WUBS Amazon, so who knows?